If you’ve ever thought, “This charcuterie board would hit harder in a field while I wear linen and pretend my toddler isn’t feral,” congratulations—you’re ready to host a Rich Mom Picnic™.
This isn’t your husband’s sad beach cooler and a soggy sandwich. No, no. This is curated chaos. Champagne-fueled chicness. A moment. A movement. A memory.
So fluff your cherry gingham Sophie Maxi Caftan, throw on your comically oversized sunnies, and let’s plan the picnic of your delusional, luxurious dreams:
1. Travel Caviar Kit
Yes, it exists. Yes, you need it.
A rich mom picnic doesn’t start without a bump of caviar and a “cheers” with a mother-of-pearl spoon. Toss this Petrossian Travel Caviar Set in your basket and watch the other moms side-eye your main-character energy.
🖤 Shop it: Ikraa Caviar Picnic Pack
2. Corkcicle Champagne Flute Set
You didn’t think we were drinking out of plastic, did you? These babies keep your bubbly chilled, clink like glass, and come in pink.
💅 Shop it: Corkcicle Flute Gift Set
3. A Chic Gingham Set
If you’re not matching your red gingham picnic blanket are you even trying? Our Picnic Edit was literally designed for moments like this. Breezy, bold, bougie.
🍒 Shop it: Livi Bubble Set by Sette
5. Mini Tablescape Setup
You could just picnic on a blanket. Or you could bring a rattan tray, linen napkins, and gold cutlery because vibes matter.
Add this Business & Pleasure Co. folding table if you’re feeling extra-extra. (Which you are.)
🌸 Elevate everything: B&P Premium Picnic Set
6. A Ridiculous Straw Hat
If you’re not blocking out the sun and unsolicited parenting advice, what are we even doing here? The bigger the brim, the closer to god.
☀️ Sun-shield & statement-maker: Lack of Color Scalloped Dolce Hat
7. Boozy Sparkling Water Disguised as Hydration
Canned rosé is cute. But De Soi sparkling apéritifs with adaptogens? Rich. Chic. Questionably healthy.
🥂 Sip smart-ish: De Soi by Katy Perry
8. Polaroid Camera for the Vibes
Real rich moms don’t rely on iPhone filters. Bring a Fujifilm Instax for retro snaps of you looking effortlessly hot while corralling a runaway toddler with one hand and sipping rosé with the other.
📸 Capture the chaos: Fujifilm Instax Mini Eco
Final Rich Mom Reminder:
A rich mom picnic is less about money and more about delusion. Delusion that your toddler won’t throw prosciutto at your best friend’s Birkin. Delusion that this gingham isn’t going to be covered in grass stains. Delusion that you are, in fact, the Audrey Hepburn of your neighborhood park.
And honestly? That’s the point.